Who loves writing blurbs? Not me. Encapsulate the essence of an 80,000 word story in ten lines? It’s hard, isn’t it.
Today, I’m asking you share a blurb for a work-in-progress or one that you’re rewriting. Let’s help one another to refine our pieces.
Mine is from Unkept Promises, which is nearly on its way to beta readers.
When Mia Redepenning sails to Cape Town to nurse her husband’s dying mistress and adopt his children, she hopes to negotiate a comfortable marriage at the same time. Falling in love with the man is not on her to-do list.
Jules Redepenning has been a naval officer at war for twenty years, and away from England for most of that. He rarely thinks of the child bride he left after their wedding seven long years ago—after all, he married her merely to protect her. He certainly doesn’t expect to find his wife in his Cape Town home, a woman grown and a lovely one, too.
They must part ways, each with their own duties, before they can do more than glimpse a possible future together. At home in England, Mia must fight an enemy for the safety of Jules’s children. Imprisoned in France, Jules must battle for his self-respect and his life.
Will they win their way back to one another and their dreams?
I don’t have enough of a novel for publication yet to blurb it. I have trouble coming up with blurbs for myself, especially as mine lean toward adventure-mystery, so the problem I expose to hook the story is part of something bigger. I’m especially aggravated when trying to burb short story collections as selecting multiple five word blurbs for the collection blurb is too much recursion. I’m better at making flat or passionless blurbing.
I will say this blurb seems to be more for the middle part of a trilogy than a single story. (wedding period&love start-adopt kids period&last him later in prison-her with kids and enemy) I’m confused at to when this will be focused on 2or 3?
This is a story that got close to pub, with even a mockup cover but ran into other issues beyond my control. I might rewrite it someday.
“Their journey ended, or started, when the magicked giant bronze statues stopped attacking them because Elda killed the tyrant… Now Elda and Drew must flee their home, hoping to flee the Vengeance that Drew still carries in his heart.”
Thanks for the feedback, Marie. Nope. It’s all in the 80,000 words, but there’s 7 years between chapter 2 and chapter 3. The rest of the action starts and ends in a six month period.
I like the sound of your blurb. Intriguing.
That said, it is the fourth book in the Golden Redepennings, and those who follow the series have met Mia before, and know she has been a navy wife since the day after her 15th birthday, and that the husband lives with his mistress on the other side of the world.
Not sure previous knowledge is recommended. I was talking it over and realized that for me the best burbs hook you in with curiosity or emotion. Curiosity is mystery/crime and is iffier than emotion, so curiosity is usually linked to horror of the crime or some hardship of emotion on the detective’s side. Emotion makes different and deeper hooks, like the hero being possessed by a demon at the start.
I admit I’m getting tired of the mirrored blurb for romance. They miss what is best about the story. You can’t tell from the blurb if there is substance. The blurb for good or bad stories look the same. Wish I could say it better.
You make some good points, Marie. I try to write all my books so they stand alone and can be read in any order. I see what you mean about the mirrored blurb. In the best romances, though, hero and heroine are equally important to the plot, and have equal emotional investment in the various challenges they face and the consequences. Neither is simply a cardboard plot device.