Different points of view on WIP Wednesday

I tend to write in deep point of view for both hero and heroine, partly because that’s the way I tell the story to myself, living inside each character through each scene and seeing it through their eyes. It has the advantage that I can show the reader misunderstanding from both points of view, and that’s the theme of this week’s work in progress Wednesday. Give me a couple of extracts that contrast what one character thinks is happening with what another thinks. Mine is from The Beast Next Door, my offering for the Belles’ Valentine box set.

How the man Eric had become be content with a country mouse like Charis? She loved him more with each day that passed, each meeting they had, each story he told. The boy had grown into a strong man, and a good one.

In the first moment of awed wonder that he wanted to court her, she had not questioned the bond between them, but as day after day passed with no sign he saw her as more than a friend, her misgivings grew. How could Charis expect to capture and keep the attention of a charming, handsome, experienced man of the world? She was the least pretty of the Fishingham sisters, the odd one, the bluestocking; awkward and anxious in company; impatient with gossip and social lies.

He showed no sign that she bored him, but then his manners were excellent. He showed no sign that she attracted him, either. He never tried even to hold her hand, let alone kiss her. For her part, her whole body hummed with tension when she was near him, reverberating like a tuning fork to its own perfect note.

Surely he must feel something?

***

Eric was living a kind of blissful agony. Charis trusted him enough to meet him in private, and he’d honour that trust if it killed him. Some days, tense with need, he felt it might. As soon as the weather cleared enough for travel, he was heading east to the midlands, where her uncle and guardian lived. He’d seek Mr Pethwick’s permission to ask Charis to be his wife, and none of this nonsense about long betrothals, either. The sooner he could have Charis at his side all the time, where she belonged, the better. Even the thought spread a grin across his face. No more lonely nights.

Meanwhile, he shouldn’t be meeting her like this, but he couldn’t bear to have her so close and not spend time with her. He should ride up to Fishingham Hous and introduce himself to her mother and sisters; see her in chaperoned company away from the temptation to kiss her witless and more. Each day it became harder to honour the vows he’d made to himself, to pay his future wife the respect she deserved by keeping his hands off her.

How would Mrs Fishingham react? From what Charis said, anyone with a title or wealth would be acceptable. Charis deserved better than that, and so did he. She wanted him for himself; not for his place in Society or his fortune; not even for the boy he was, though she was the only person alive who knew him well from his childhood. After all their conversations, she wanted the man he had become. He didn’t believe that would change whatever her mother and sisters said, but he saw no need to risk it. Besides, he didn’t want to share his time with her in polite conversation with others.

When the rain stopped it came almost a a relief from the churning of his thoughts and the struggle with his lust. His attention so focused on his errand, he forgot that the clearing weather meant the Fishinghams could resume their assault upon Bath.

2 thoughts on “Different points of view on WIP Wednesday

  1. Nicely done! showing the misunderstandings and fights from multiple views can be fun. Almost all my stuff is rotating 1st person, I once had a fic with three views of a kangaroo trial with my leads’ lives on the line. I like the deeper view for how I want to tell my long stories: more empathy and more mystery/frustration.

    Sorry, I don’t have any original fic of enough length to really support two deep views. A current arc has my hero thinking the heroine is ‘possessed,’ while she’s just doing her job and confused. (this is an ongoing I started 26 months and 200k words ago so it can’t really be summarized for various reasons) I’m looking forward to getting simpler setups in newer works.

    • Yes, the longer length doesn’t lend itself to short snippets! Looking forward to seeing some of your stuff later on.

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